Four years ago, my marriage as I knew it, ended.
Discovering an X-rated message exchange between my husband and some whore left me seriously messed up for years.
Even through the therapy and the many post-affair talking sessions, I couldn’t shake the feeling that my husband wasn’t telling me everything.
Despite my husband swearing everything had been purged, I did not believe him.
And last night, I was vindicated.
My husband gave me complete access to his phone after D-Day, and although I’ve looked a handful of times to satisfy my curiosity, I couldn’t see anything to raise alarm bells.
Last night, my husband came to bed early and crashed as he was clearly exhausted.
I took the opportunity to remove the glasses from his face, his phone from his hand and starting flicking through a few things: email, Instagram, Facebook, Messenger.
But that nagging feeling persisted. So I kept digging.
And then I found it. A Yahoo email account. But not under his name. He had called himself Simon Temples.
I opened the inbox.
Facebook ‘people you might know messages’ filled the screen.
I thumbscrolled through the messages.
More Facebook messages.
No, no. Thumbscroll, thumbscroll.
There’s more, I know it.
Messages from an Audrey.
Dated March 2013.
When I was almost 8 months pregnant.
A second affair he never told me about.
He swore he began cheating on me after our third child was born because he felt neglected.
Now I had proof he had begun cheating on me before then.
I read all the messages. All 71 of them.
Then, because I didn’t panic and become enraged, I took my time forwarding all of the messages to myself.
Messages where he met up with her for coffee.
Messages where he told her what he’d do with his tongue.
Messages where he told her he would “definitely try to work out a way” to spend the whole night at her place “but not very often.”
Messages where he was looking for a booty call and would lie to me about what time he had to be home and then drop around to her place.
I know this was 4+ years ago, and we’re in a good place right now, but this fucking hurts.
What do I do with this new information??