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“She says her love for me could never die.

That’d change if she ever found out about you and I.”

Oh, how many times I have sung those lyrics! The song is Run To You, the singer is Bryan Adams.

It’s devastating how discovering your husband was cheating on you changes the way you hear lyrics, changes their meaning, their effect on your soul.

The next line in the song goes:

“Oh, but her love is cold.

It wouldn’t hurt her if she didn’t know.”

What was once one of my favourite songs is now a source of pain.

Songs I loved bopping around to now anger me. How could I have sung these lines so oblivious as to their meaning?

Then there’s Ray Parker Jr, ‘The Other Woman’.

“I’m in love

With the Other Woman

My life was fine

Until she blew my mind.”

The song also contains the lyrics:

“Now I hate to have to cheat

But it feels better when I sneak.”

As you can see, I came from a decade of wonderful pop songs. This music fills my library. Music that once brought me such happiness and found solace in, is now a landmine of triggers.

I picked up the new Paloma Faith album recently. Some of the song titles include:

Can’t Rely on You

Only Love Can Hurt Like This (great song)

Other Woman

The Bigger You Love (The Harder You Fall)

Love Only Leaves You Lonely

It’s the Not Knowing

Poor Paloma. They are song titles only a betrayed spouse could have come up with.

This is messed up.

Which is, I suspect, why so many betrayed/healing spouses relate to Sam Smith.

Here is ‘I’m Not The Only One’.

“You and me, we made a vow

For better or for worse

I can’t believe you let me down

But the proof’s in the way it hurts.”

I could add more but I’m going to stop.

What songs did your partner’s affair ruin for you?