, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

If I were to describe how I am today, one year and one week out from D-Day, I’d have to day I’m on an even keel.
I’m no longer miserable, yet nor am I elated. I’m at a relatively stable place right now, an even keel.
And at the moment, there are definitely more good days than bad.
The following points have probably helped:

1. He didn’t fuck her (although I suspect it wouldn’t have been too far off, even though says that would never have happened).
2. He maintains he loves me, always has, always will.
3. He has never once told me to “get over it” or any such variation.
4. He accepted full responsibility for his foolish actions from day 1.
5. The affair was not with anyone I knew or counted as a friend.
6. The whore was a stranger, not a colleague or mutual acquaintance. He doesn’t see her at work every day, thereby digging the knife in a bit further on a daily basis.
7. He didn’t walk out on me and the children to be with her.
8. He is remorseful, and feels completely humiliated by what he’s done and how much he has hurt me and our family.
9. I have free and complete access to his email, phone, and computer.
10. He didn’t tell the skanky bitch that he loved her or that she was beautiful. (She’s a nobody that hangs around singles sites looking for men to save her from a shitty marriage. Whore!)
11. He can account for his time now. No more “I have to get to work early” or “I have to stay back at work a bit”.
12. He doesn’t do out-of-town gigs that involve overnight stays.
13. He calls and texts me at least once every day, including when he’s on his way home.
14. He leaves work on time every day and heads home.
15. He willingly attended couples counselling with me and made whatever plans necessary to make our appointments.
16. He asks me about my day and how I’m doing, every day.
17. He never stopped wearing his wedding ring, even though I stopped wearing mine.
18. He tries not to do anything or go anywhere if it’s going to distress me. (Obviously, this was an exception.)
19. When he gets home, he plugs his phone into the charger and doesn’t touch it until he unplugs it to leave for work the next morning. No more: in his pocket, taking it to the bathroom, sitting with it glued by his side.
20. She has never met my children, although he did discuss them (and our upcoming plans) with her.
21. He says I give awesome blowjobs : )
22. He has never once asked for forgiveness (probably because he knows I would never forgive him).

And for now, that’s fine by me.