After I discovered my husband’s six-month affair with a married whore, he maintained most of the time when they spoke, it was about ordinary, everyday stuff. News events, the kids, plans for the weekend etc.
He said the conversation hadn’t turned sexual until about three months before I discovered it.
So my question to him was this: who crossed the line first?
Who took the conversation into sexual territory?
He thought about it for a moment.
“I don’t really remember, I can’t pinpoint that moment.”
“Was it you?”, I asked, knowing that it most likely was.
“I don’t know,” he repeated. “It just happened.”
I spent a fun-filled hour in my therapist’s office this morning discussing this with her.
“Whenever a cheater ‘cannot remember’ a detail about the affair, you can be sure they are at fault. It’s classic text book behaviour,” she informed me.
Then she asked me a question.
“How would you feel moving forward in this marriage knowing that you will never know everything? How does that sit with you?”
Hmm. That’s definitely a tough one. A very hard pill to swallow.
Not knowing all that there is to know…I was stumped. I’ll need to give this some serious thought. Accept that there may have been other affairs. Or that this affair was more serious than he was letting on. Or that he’ll do it again but this time be more careful.
Could you do it?
I just don’t know.